fear Factor!

Everyone in this world lives with some fear. Some time we know about our fear and other time don’t know about this unless or until situation arises.

Do you know how fear generates in our mind, from where it comes and how we accumulate in our conscious & subconscious mind?

But million dollar question is how could you get rid of the fear or this will not build up again in your brain? There is none 100% cure for all the fears, still you can take care some of them and minimize the losses.

Let us understand how fear built in our brain system.

Technically ,It starts with worry then accumulation of worries generate a tension and tension lead us into an anxiety and when we don’t get the right answer for our anxiety, it stores as a fear in our brain .

We are buried under the worries. Knowingly or unknowingly, we dream, imagine and store worries round the clock in our memories.

Regardless, whether worry has a meaning or not our mind thinks and establishes new worries.

How worry turns into the fear, for that, let us see this is in a real time example, you got a small cut in your body or a splinter stuck in your figure, If you do not cure or take care of this small problem, later on this will become a diseases and you may have to lose your hand to cure at the later stage. Apparently a small worry as splinter ends up as loss of hand as a fear.

Now, we come to the point. Why we have worries? How it build up in our brain?

Technically speaking, whenever we face a problem, our behavior is pretty much standard, either we do too much or don’t do anything. This is the main cause of building the worries in our brain system.

If we analyze human behavior, how we act or react for a situation? You will understand better.

Basically, our actions or reactions are based on two fundamental things; either we use our brain or heart for a decision making or solving a problem. Some time we claim that we have used our sixth sense but I am not going to consider this because it’s not guaranteed.

We behave in two ways either in rational/ logical or irrational/illogical manner.

You can argue about this but this is a fact that sometimes we think before taking actions and in some situations we don’t think at all. In this situation we are following our heart what is telling us to do.

When we analyzed or think about a problem, we used our brain to find an answer for the problem but in some situation we react with the command of the heart.

Always remember, Heart leads us into emotions, emotions create worry and worry creates tension & anxiety.

Everyone in this world has unlimited worries. I am not considering all of them here, only some major types.

1.     Relationship 2.Career 3.Financial 4.Illogical

Relationship: - This is one of the most common types of worry a human being has in modern world.

Why my kids are not respecting me?

Why my spouse does not treat me well?

What will happen, if I could not show up in my friend’s/relative marriage?

What society will say, if my son/daughter will do love marriage?

Why my husband does not come home on time?

Just think about these worries, does it make any sense to you? You, me or anyone think about them, why not? Reason, we don’t analyzed the outcome of these situations.

If you pay little attention for your worries and write down with possible solutions and their impacts, I am sure you will feel very relaxed and loose.

 Let us take an example, your spouse is not treating you well and you are worried about your future day & night. Have you ever thought about this that what are the options you have? For example,

Can you leave or change him? If your answer is yes them your worry has been resolved.

If your answer is “No” them what other options do you have?

You have no choice except to live with him/her in the same situation, so what you should do now? Here is the reality check; you have to live in this world and have to minimize your expectations from your spouse.

Don’t expect respect, appreciation & love from him/her, gradually it will lower your self-esteem, best case scenario for this could be, try to get appreciation/respect from somewhere else. You can be a writer, singer, social worker etc., where you will get attentions and respect. If you don’t do anything to overcome this worry then you will live in the fear of miss treatment in rest of your life. If you don’t analyze and apply the required solution for a worry, one day it will end up as a fear. This will be a permanent damage.

Sometime, situations are not in our control, for example your kids are not working hard for their career but you are worry about their future, it calls unnecessary worry. You have nothing to do except provide them resources and guidance still you are imagining endless possibilities without any logic, apparently which will turn in to a fear. His/her career will haunt you rest of your life.

If you have accepted this fact in the beginning that you are just a supplier of the means, they are delivers not you .Your life will be in a peace not in the fear of that what will happen tomorrow to them?

 In fact, you will not be around with them forever, sooner or later they have to continue their life journey without you. But we don’t accept this fact, we think, we can change someone future which hardly happened but end up as a fear in our system.

Same applied for financials worries, house wives worry day & night for house hold budget but they don’t understand that they are not delivers their spouses are. They can manage their budget but can’t change the income (unless or until they are willing to work).If they worry without analyzing & thinking facts, it will end up as a fear in their system for the money. They will freak out whenever something wrong will go in spouse financial situation.

Sometimes, we create fear for unexpected loss, if you accept the loss in the first place, your expectation will be less and you will not be afraid that what will happen tomorrow?

For sake, you invest in some real estate, stock market or somewhere else, if you consider the worst case scenario of your investment (you may lose all of your money) before investing then you will be mentally prepared for the bad time, this will not be a shock for you.

However, you don’t analyze and prepare alternate solution for the loss, it will bring a misery in your life, and gradually this worry will turn into an anxiety. And whenever any bad news will come you will be scared.

Moral of this statement is, before making any investment decision, always keep an alternative strategy or solution for an unexpected loss.

Our denial of the facts creates imaginary possibilities and these possibilities lead us in to worry and those turn in to a fear.

In the last I am considering the fear of illogical worries. These are worries without any reason as , I will miss my bus/train , forget to lock my door , forget to turn off gas , exams will come next month , how my daughter marriage will happen. If you count these scenarios, everybody might have countless illogical worries.

Reason, why I called them illogical because if you think about them you will not get a firm answer. Situation as forgetting something and worry about them later on can be resolved by a simple way. Whenever you leave the place, stay there for 10/20 second and observed the thing and repeat in your mind that I have checked everything thoroughly, if you follow this simple way, I am sure you will reduce some illogical worries from your system.

 Always write down your worries with possible solutions and outcome then analyze them and I am sure, gradually, you will see, you have reduced stresses, tensions, anxieties and worries.

If you follow to your brain you will be a rational/logical person who knows about his problems and their possible solutions. Finally, you will be living with minimum fear as a happy person but a stone heart.

However, if you follow your heart you will be irrational and will surround by unknown worries, fears, anxiety & tension but you will be kind and soft.

Choice is yours, what you want to be and how you want to handle your problems either by brain or by heart.

By
Kapil Kumar 

Note: “Opinions expressed are those of the authors, and are not official statements. Resemblance to any person, incident or place is purely coincidental.' ”